Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Ermahgerd Kabam

Thus far, the majority of my posts have been fairly serious in tenor. Today, I decided to buck that particular trend. I'm sure you've noticed the daily message:


Apparently, Kabam wants our feedback. And in light of Aaron Loeb's ostensible focus on long term players -- about which I recently posted -- I suppose it's finally time to rant my opinions. This is a blog, after all! I'll hit major gameplay issues, such as the inconsequentiality of assaults, the stupidity of Lando missions, and why Kabam deserves a Disruption Grenade dropped in their shorts, among other things.

I also suppose that I should remind the good people at Kabam of Brandin Tyrrel's lukewarm review of Uprising for IGN just after its release: "And it's all about the stuff. I'm grinding faction reputation and spending resources to upgrade my gear so I can upgrade my Player Rating so I can on harder missions so I can maybe find better gear that I can upgrade so I can upgrade my Player rating...and so on and so forth." Tyrrel was as right then as he is now. At the end of the proverbial day, today's big issue is yesterday's big issue. Namely, worthwhile rewards.  I'm pretty sure I speak for our entire cartel when I say that grinding isn't a problem per say. We grind hard. But grinding towards underwhelming dissatisfaction, well, here we go again...

Daily Assaults

Issue: In theory, the Lando missions and better Sector Battle rewards were supposed to make Assaults relevant again. In practice, this twofold approach fails. Hard. Even the top tier Gunslinger drops miss their mark and, while Sector Battle Captains are now guaranteed 5 5* electrum, the time commitment's hardly worth such a pithy bump. Yes, I said pithy. And the Lieutenant rewards are even worse. I'll return to these points under "Sector Battles." Suffice it to say, though, that assaults are consequentially inconsequential. Still.

Potential Fix: Best Reward assault missions potentially drop shards for every  Legendary Vanity Gear set available in the game in accordance with standard RNG practices. What's more, ratchet up the chances of such shard drops on multiplayer assaults to incentivize social play, which I discuss under the heading "Cartels." If Raids aren't multiplayer, then you, Kabam, need to step it up on those missions that do run co-op. You're running a mobile MMORPG, remember?

Lando Missions

Issue: As I outline above, Lando missions are lackluster at best for higher level players. Did I say "lackluster"? I meant crap. That's a technical term.

Potential Fix: Raise the bar for Gunslinger drops to at least 5* rewards guaranteed, which includes electrum. The joke called 4* electrum got old yesterday. Also, increase the percentage of Legendary Vanity Gear drops. You know, because people are vain. I am.

Sector Battles

Issue: Fewer and fewer players are bothering with SBs despite the restructured awards, as I so brilliantly outline above. Vain I said! The minimum VP requirement for the rank of Captain, for instance, dropped like a brick from approximately 1.5-1.8mm before the 3.0 update to roughly 800k VPs this past week. Ouch.

Potential Fix: Legendary Vanity Gear salvages only  T2 mats, which includes 1 guaranteed 6* electrum, in addition to the restructured changes. Lieutenants should receive 1 guaranteed 5* electrum in addition to the restructured changes as well. Quit playing us cheap, Kabam.

Imperial Sector Battles

Issue: IBs are usually met with either indignation, or indifference. The indignation's due to the fact that it takes a full 24hr SB to earn system influence, but only a 1hr IB to lose said influence the next damned day. This is not to mention that IB rewards in a 3.0 universe are, in gamer's parlance, garbage  to higher level players. What is more, the current IB timer schedule seems punitive rather than productive. Fuck me once, shame on you. Fuck me twice? Ermahgerd.

Potential Fix: Change all 4* electrum rewards to 5* electrum rewards and  guarantee Imperial Crystals on the standard Recruit to General tier system currently in place. What's more, change the IB imminent timer to 1hr for all  battles. That famous American philosopher, Tina Turner, once asked: What's love got to do with it? SB timers that don't cockblock the accumulation of BPs and rewards that aren't insults added to the injury: That's what love's got to do with it.

Factions

Issue: For a very long time now I've heard players complain that Faction Ranks are incredibly difficult to achieve. Personally, I log on at least 3-4 times a day to run crew on Reputation Finder missions and I've yet to see  any rank higher than Warrior, let alone earn one.

Potential Fix: Increase chances to earn higher Reputation Finder rewards, especially on daily Opportunity Runs. Use Lando missions to this end as well. An increased electrum payout at the end of an entire month  wouldn't hurt our feelings either, Kabam.

Disruption Grenade

Issue: An RNG gateway to control in-game progress? No explanation necessary. Insert string of fucking expletives here. And I already have  a lightsaber.

Potential Fix: Do away with the M-Sec shield, increase chances of DG Rank 1 drops in all crates, make DG Rank 1 purchasable from an existing trainer, or any of the other viable solutions that absolutely litter the Uprising forums. There's a thing called "high time" and -- no, put down the bong, Kabam! -- it means fix this shit.  Now. Pretty and please and thank you very much.

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